Super vulnerable question here…I’m doing most of what you suggested here, but do you have any thoughts/suggestions on what to do if your husband just refuses or is unable to SEE the mental load? I am pretty sure mine doesn’t believe it, thinks it’s just some feminist, empowered mumbo jumbo. Meanwhile I’m drowning in schedules and appointments and planning and I can’t get him to own any of it…
but I agree with you. the hardest part about mental load is the invisibility of it, and how it’s a struggle to explain when “put on the spot”. fair play suggests literally writing down everything you do… which is… the least sexy thing ever.
we haven’t done that, but I am trying to do little things to make the invisible visible… like more reminders, automated where possible. this is where I think AI can help and some of the tips from this post really do set the foundation (detailed calendar events, shared reminder lists, etc). more coming soon…
but for now, try giving your husband ONE thing to own! like feeding the dog every morning or clipping your kids fingernails once a week. set a recurring reminder, ASSIGN it to him, and then get it out of your head!
Ok post regret…my husband is a great guy who often cooks and vacuums and if I ASK is generally willing to help with things. It’s just all things you can’t see that he doesn’t understand…
I absolutely love this! Excellent write up.
Thank you for sharing!
thank you so much, Joel!
Super vulnerable question here…I’m doing most of what you suggested here, but do you have any thoughts/suggestions on what to do if your husband just refuses or is unable to SEE the mental load? I am pretty sure mine doesn’t believe it, thinks it’s just some feminist, empowered mumbo jumbo. Meanwhile I’m drowning in schedules and appointments and planning and I can’t get him to own any of it…
I am no expert here! learning as we go
but I agree with you. the hardest part about mental load is the invisibility of it, and how it’s a struggle to explain when “put on the spot”. fair play suggests literally writing down everything you do… which is… the least sexy thing ever.
we haven’t done that, but I am trying to do little things to make the invisible visible… like more reminders, automated where possible. this is where I think AI can help and some of the tips from this post really do set the foundation (detailed calendar events, shared reminder lists, etc). more coming soon…
but for now, try giving your husband ONE thing to own! like feeding the dog every morning or clipping your kids fingernails once a week. set a recurring reminder, ASSIGN it to him, and then get it out of your head!
Ok post regret…my husband is a great guy who often cooks and vacuums and if I ASK is generally willing to help with things. It’s just all things you can’t see that he doesn’t understand…
Shared to discuss list! I am going to set this up right now, thank you.
right?! seems silly, but actually so useful!
Stealing this reminders hack, immediately!!!
YAY let me know how it goes!!
Love this! Do you have the link for the fridge calendar? Need !
Yes! https://go.shopmy.us/p-73752071